Living Intentionally
Living Intentionally
A lot of the way we live our lives comes because of the way we are
brought up and our family’s culture and traditions. It is true that many children
grow up and live in a similar social class and family system as they experienced
when they were young. Does that mean that if you grew up in a dysfunctional family
you are predestined to create a dysfunctional family yourself? If we drag our
feet through life not aspiring for anything different then the answer is
probably yes. Success rarely falls upon those who wander through life without a
purpose. But if you find the good in the world and actively seek it out, with
the help of a loving Heavenly Father you can shape the future of your family into
something more beautiful than you can currently imagine. In order to do that, you
have to learn to live intentionally.
In the Book of Mormon, it repeatedly states “inasmuch as ye
shall keep the commandments of God ye shall prosper in the land.” I have often
thought of the word prosper to mean you have a lot of money or resources, but
one of the definitions for prosper is to “make steady progress.” One main purpose
in this life is to progress. Whether that be progress in temporal things such
as our jobs, wealth, and possessions or things we will take with us as we pass
on from this life into the eternities such as our testimonies, spiritual gifts,
and families. Progress within our families is a noble and righteous pursuit
that will bring unimaginable joy.
There are things in each family we want to protect and share
with the next generation and things we want to eradicate. So how do we hold onto
the beauty our families contain and eliminate the negative? It all comes from intentionally
thinking about what brought joy and love into our homes and what brought contention
and strife.
There are traditions or “inherited patterns of belief or
behavior” in every family. It’s up to us to decide what traditions to carry on
and which to discard. Take a moment to think about your family and the way you
grew up. You can choose which of those traditions you will continue in the
future with your own family to create a unique culture within the walls of your
home.
In the April 2009 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ
of Latter-day Saints, Elder Gary E. Stevenson invited us to take a virtual tour
of our homes. He said, “Imagine that you are opening your front door and
walking inside your home. What do you see, and how do you feel? Is it a place
of love, peace, and refuge from the world, as is the temple? Is it clean and
orderly? As you walk through the rooms of your home, do you see uplifting
images which include appropriate pictures of the temple and the Savior? Is your
bedroom or sleeping area a place for personal prayer? Is your gathering area or
kitchen a place where food is prepared and enjoyed together, allowing uplifting
conversation and family time? Are scriptures found in a room where the family
can study, pray, and learn together? Can you find your personal gospel study
space? Does the music you hear or the entertainment you see, online or
otherwise, offend the Spirit? Is the conversation uplifting and without
contention?”
When building your family, it’s important to speak with your spouse
about the factors that will influence your family’s culture: spoken and
unspoken rules, personal and familial boundaries, social norms, customs, arts
and achievements. As you intentionally think about and discuss these things,
you can have more control over the kind of culture your children will be raised
in. No family will be perfect, but as we seek inspiration from God to know what
principles to promote and what rules to enforce, the love of the Savior will become
the dominant influence in our home. It won’t be chance or previous circumstance
that determines the love and care that fills your home, but a result of your conscious
efforts to build a healthy family.
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